The past week I had the privilege to attend a Coaching Mastery Class. I came seeking to gain new coaching skills, which I did. But God also laid upon my heart a fresh new coaching mindset which is so critical if I want to succeed as a good coach.
Eli and Samuel
In 1 Samuel 3:1-10 we read about how God first spoke to Samuel. Eli’s part in this story is both interesting and instructive for us (in life and in coaching).
What did Eli do?
– he asked Samuel to ‘respond and listen’, and to be open
What did he not do?
– he did not say ‘let me find out what God has to say to you…’; let me tell you exactly what you need to do.
Essentially, Eli trusted God to speak for himself. He also had confidence that Samuel can hear for himself.
The need to instruct
As strange as this may sound, I must admit that sometimes I don’t trust the Holy Spirit enough on what he’s doing, how he’s orchestrating things, or his timing to get it done.
I often sense the need to ‘tell them’ if I see some obvious thing coming. I feel that my input would be helpful, and maybe even instructive. Fact is, this speaks more to my pride than my desire for their growth or success.
He’s involved in every conversation whether we acknowledge it or not. Obviously, if we tune in to him, we find greater alignment to His will.
The Holy Spirit coaching my son
I had the opportunity mid-week to apply this important coaching mindset with my youngest child. He had gotten into a fight with his mom. I could hear him crying on the phone when I called. Typically, I would quickly ask him to apologize to mom, and set things right.
However this time, I was prompted to use some of my newly acquired coaching skills, and asked instead: ‘How did that make you feel?’ – an open question, which led him to openly share some of the raw emotions rising up in him (He’s 10). After a few more minutes of unpacking, with less and less tears, I could sense he had gain new awareness and perspective. I then asked ‘What part do you think you play in this…? (another good open question!) =) And this time, he confessed to his own part, and said he would make it right with mom.
I was sure the Holy Spirit led him to this conclusion and conviction. It wasn’t my words.
What did I learn?
Laying off the reprimand (from me), especially when prompted by the Holy Spirit, ask good coaching/open questions, and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in his own way and own time.